A day in the life: Good and Bad

This post is a small example of how an average day as a Vegan LDS person goes for me. It's a true story, and happened today.

So, for those who aren't LDS, Institute is where college-age LDS people go on weekdays to socialize with other college-age LDS people and sit in lessons having to do with church topics. The Institute next to Western Washington University (my college) has a thing called Friday Forum. It's where people can come on Friday afternoon for a free lunch and listen to a speaker or do an activity.

Last year I only came to Friday Forum intermittently because I never knew if there would be anything other than salad for me to eat. I'm the only vegan at the Institute, so I don't expect them to plan their meals around me. I would often eat something before coming, just in case. But it was also difficult for me to sit next to a bunch of people who were eating meat. Meat is something I have a hard time being around. Imagine being in a room full of body parts. That's a little bit of how it feels. Inevitably you start thinking about how those body parts were once a living thing that was then hacked up into pieces.

But, usually there isn't so much meat that I can't stand being there. This year, we have a new missionary couple who is really nice. The first day of the class I decided to go to, "The Gospel and the Productive Life", I was the only one who showed up. Thus, by a twist of fate, I got to tell them a lot more about myself than I've ever told anyone at the Institute. I was wearing a "Vegan Power" temporary tattoo on my cheek, and when they asked me about my major I started talking passionately about Cultural Studies and how important it is to understand the lived experiences of people who are different from us... and how that works into my approach to the church. Somehow the topic came around to veganism and how that tied in to that, because it was around when I became Vegan (while going to BYU-Hawaii, an LDS school) that I was also learning how to empathize with difference and what it was like to be a minority. I was a racial minority in the town I lived in, in Hawaii... I was a minority on campus because I was a vegan, and I was a religious minority in the rest of Hawaii which was fairly nonreligious, or at least nonChristian. Similarly I am a religious minority at Western and I am also still a minority because of being vegan....

So, we got off to a good start. Today I was very touched, because they went out of their way to make today's meal edible for me. They had previously asked me to give them a small list of meals which could easily be veganized (like spaghetti with two separate sauces, burrito bars, things like that), so I had, and included a little information about Earth Balance and Vegenaise. So, we were having Hawaiian Haystacks today and they showed me that they had bought a thing of Earth Balance, Vegenaise, and Coconut Milk (the pourable kind) just for me. I mixed them all together with the rice to make it creamy and it was much more enjoyable with the vegetables and pineapple than it would have been as just plain rice. I was really glad. This made me feel welcome and more comfortable in the group. It was a wonderful positive experience which connected positive LDS values with positive vegan values.

Afterward, I was hanging out in the couch/socializing area near the doors and having a pleasant conversation with one of the other girls about favorite TV shows, bands, and books. Suddenly everyone is crowding around the doors and I go over there to find out that a bird has flown into them and was lying on the sidewalk looking pretty dead.

Someone said "that is so funny" and I said "that's really sad, it's not funny at all!"
Then this one guy started joking about how he waxes his windows really clean hoping that birds will kill themselves running into them. I said "my respect for you has just dropped by 50 percent." Which was an understatement. He said "Good!" but then continued to make jokes about the bird.

But really, this type of comment is the quickest way to make me consider any future friendship with such a person impossible. It produces the same result of horror in me as hearing someone joke about child sexual abuse would produce for most normal people who have a conscience.

I went and got a paper towel so I could move the bird somewhere else, out of the way where it could die in peace. The girl I was talking to earlier was already out there with her gloves on, and she helped me put it on the paper towel and lay it over in the ivy. When we got back the joking guy said "I like how you just left the napkin under it" and I tried to explain that I was afraid to pull it out from under the bird because if it was only stunned and its neck or spine was injured that could make it worse. But he said something like "right, don't want to pull it out and send it flying--whoops!" and laughed again.

It is really difficult for me to not feel angry when someone speaks this way, so disrespectfully. Encountering someone like this at an LDS institute is really disappointing. I understand that the church is not a collection of perfect people... but I know that the root of this kind of behavior comes from a belief that certain things or being are not worth respecting. I find it very disturbing and sad. I could hardly stand staying in the same room with this person and as I am sitting here writing this his presence across the room is still making me uncomfortable.

I guess one thing which is an obvious lesson from this experience, one which I have already learned, is that the world is not divided cleanly into black and white. It's unlikely that one can walk into an LDS institute and find it full of people who only feel Christlike love and compassion for their fellow beings, and respect for the creations of God. Likewise, it's unlikely that one can walk into a gathering of Vegans and find them all to be perfectly applying the principle of compassion and nonviolence to everyone and everything they are involved with. There is a higher standard of ethics, morality, and love which transcends religious membership or particular diets, but which should ideally, certainly influence these identities. Thus I believe it is dangerous to assume that someone in a certain religious group is morally superior to someone without religious affiliation.

We all have a lot of growing and learning to do. I am staring out the window now at the still-unmoving body of the bird and wishing, hoping, that I was not the only one who was so disturbed and saddened by how its death was laughed at. I am so grateful for the true love which motivated Sarah to help me move its body, and which motivated Brother and Sister Mumford to buy vegan foods to make me feel welcome. I am conflicted about what to do in response to what I have experienced today. My gut response is to avoid the laughing guy if I should ever see him again, because being in his presence is too painful and makes me angry... and I don't want to be angry. I know it is my duty to forgive him, but I will need a lot of help to be able to willingly be around him again.

What the world might see as being worthless, God may value very much. The worth of souls is great in the sight of God.
Matthew 10:29

Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.