Easter Goodies and Early Birthday Gifts

I haven't been very good at updating this blog regularly... sorry (not sure who I'm apologizing to, but all the same).

Things have turned up since last I wrote! I now have a new job with a company called Premier which creates school planners and calendars. I start work on the 24th, just two days after my 23rd birthday, which is of course on April 22nd. I'm excited and nervous and still a little in shock about the whole thing. It's a seasonal position but even if they don't decide to keep me on after summer, it will look pretty good on my resume!

But first I should talk a little about Easter!

I was anxious about spending another Easter away from my family, especially since this year it would just be me and Danielle celebrating together. It's been several years now since I was last home for Easter with my family, and it's one of my favorite holidays. My family has a tradition of doing a sunrise hike and sermon on Easter morning. My parents also write us each cards telling us how they appreciate the ways in which we've changed and grown in the past year... and then we have our Christian Passover Seder meal, full of symbolism and storytelling and singing. I miss it. Last year I was able to listen and participate a little bit over the phone, and that was nice.

This year we got invited to go on a hike with some acquaintances from school on Saturday. It turned out to be a gorgeously sunny weekend, and I loved it!

We hiked a trail near Larrabee State Park which is called the "oyster dome" trail. It was mostly uphill and pretty steep, but lots of trees, ferns, and views of the sound (puget sound or the salish sea) and we even crossed some streams along the way. It was pretty muddy in some places.

AND THEN we were silly enough to climb up on top of this big rock and almost couldn't get down... but we found a way in the end.

And of course, finally, we made it to the top of Oyster Dome.

Hiking has always felt like a very symbolic experience to me. It's a struggle to get to a higher place, a higher vantage point and perspective. Sometimes it seems like the trail just keeps getting steeper and our legs keep getting heavier and how could it possibly be worth it? But if it's a good hike and you're doing it right, it's half its own reward because you know each step is an accomplishment and you're in the middle of a beautiful wilderness. If you were to stop along the way, you could see beauty where you are, but still, you keep going because there's something amazing to see, and a great thrill of accomplishment to feel, when you reach the top. It's a great way to think about life. It makes me feel optimistic, like each heavy step is meaningful. Even the mud just makes it more memorable. And sometimes we stop and take detours to challenge ourselves for fun and then get stuck and maybe a little bit scared, but it all works out and soon enough we're on our way and glad we gave it a try.

There was no sunrise when we got to the top since the sun was already up, and no sermon. But I felt a similar sense of happiness and awe at the world and my tiny-but-real significance within it.

The next day we were so sore, but we dragged ourselves out of bed early to go to church together at Christ the Servant. Yes, I go to church with Danielle sometimes, and I love it. The front of the chapel was covered in flowers, the choir was amazing, and there was a small band/orchestra type group with horns and a clarinet and flute which made everything sound twice as majestic. The Easter hymns nearly made me cry and for the first time in weeks I felt the joy of what it really means to be Christian. Jesus lives and rose from the dead--his love and hope conquered every darkness imaginable, and that means there's always hope for us, no matter how dead we feel. We can make it to the top. We can see the view. And we can have joy in the struggle. We can overcome anything because of that spark of light inside us, which sometimes, in special moments, feels more like a sun.

So my Easter was wonderful!

Granted, I've had to be careful since then, because I've been having way too many sweets!

First of all, me and Danielle made vegan peanut-butter filled chocolate eggs. They're basically exactly like Reese's cups, except better because we used Trader Joe's Pounds Plus dark chocolate for the outside which is way tastier than Reese's chocolate. We are definitely going to have to make and eat more of these soon!

Then last weekend Danielle's parents came up and we had a sort of combined birthday thing because our birthdays are only 12 days apart. So I got a new blender (EXCELLENT because my old one broke)! And a singing bowl (FANTASTIC because it reminds me of the East West Bookstore in Seattle, which is a spiritual sanctuary I've had the privilege of stepping into a few times)! Also they brought home-made Raspberry Truffle Brownies and homemade vegan blueberry cheesecake (unfortunately I don't know what recipe Danielle's dad used, but it was sure good, and so sweet of him to make it for us). Oh and Oma gave us chocolate hemp ice cream too.

Yes I am stealing the PPK's picture.

Since then we've both been kind of lazy because we started watching Doctor Who on Easter and I'm low on grocery money. But we still manage our usual pots of lentils and curries and the other night I made a lovely barley stew with lots of herbs and veggies in it. We've also made two batches of super easy homemade biscuits with Earth Balance and jam.


Enjoying the sun and rain which are beginning to happen in ALMOST equal measures. My plants are finally growing a little but they're still small. At least our houseplants are doing well.

reach toward the liiiight

Still anxious about the future. Life is a series of great contradictions and contrasts. I guess the best thing to do is to try to enjoy those contrasts and rejoice in the beauty of everyday life.

Ups and Downs

A lot has changed since I last wrote. I don't have many food pictures to share with you today so I'll just pick out the best of the springtime-y photos I've been taking and break up the monotony of my ramblings with them. Hopefully that makes this a little more interesting.

I honestly was excited to work at my new job, but since I was hired at the beginning of March, I've only worked 3 days and earned a little over 150 dollars. I wasn't able to get a hold of my bosses consistently, and because of family issues they didn't have time to train me, and I'm too slow to be put on a crew without my supervisor. It was a complicated situation and was only made worse by the fact that when I went to finally talk to them about it in person and get my paycheck (which was late) I ended up crying, and they ended up essentially saying that they were sorry I was having a hard time but they couldn't really change the way they were doing things. So now it's back to square one with the job search.

But at least the blossoms are pretty.

For a few days I was honestly, extremely down about this. I had a really hard time. Luckily, Danielle and I had decided to volunteer for Vegfest 2012 in Seattle, and that helped a little. Vegfest is put on by the Vegetarians of Washington, and was just a really awesome place to be. We volunteered with Field Roast, a Seattle-based company that makes amazing vegan sausages and other "meat" products out of grains, vegetables, and spices (no soy). We got to meet some of the people who run the company, and they were really nice--they even gave us about $40 worth of Field Roast products as thanks for volunteering! There were only a few of us volunteers at the booth and I was one of the ones running the grills. We were demonstrating their relatively new product: Frankfurters (aka delicious hot dogs).

Oh look a food picture!

They smell like bacon while they're cooking and taste really good. It's really an amazing product and it was so awesome to see everybody lining up at the table to get free samples and exclaiming over how good they were. I heard people telling their friends, and people came up to the table saying that someone they'd come with had said they had to try the hot dogs. It was really exciting, actually! And to know that all the people we were volunteering with were vegetarian, and to be in that environment where the death of animals is not a central part of the event (in the form of animal-derived foods) was honestly SO COOL.

It's like coming home to your own culture after being in a strange land, I guess. Around everyone who is not vegan there is always a part of me that is guarded because I know that they don't see animals the way I do, and I've come across so many nasty and thoughtless comments and jokes from people whenever they encounter a vegan. Actually just recently I commented on a thread on facebook and was sort of attacked by a fellow commenter. That was pretty frustrating. But at Vegfest I felt that part of me was able to relax--I was in a safe place. It was really nice.

Oh look, it's downtown Bellingham! IN THE SUN!

AND THERE WAS SO MUCH GOOD FOOD. So many tables with vegan yogurts, cheeses, burritos, jerky, frozen desserts, puddings, pies, cakes, mousse, smoothies, and health drinks. And it was packed full of people, too!

and the suuunlight was GLOORIOUSSss...

So that was the highlight of the last weekend. I still struggled with moments where I felt like I was in an unusual amount of emotional pain for some reason. I'm not sure why I felt so terrible about my job problem except that I really want to be able to be self-sufficient and contribute to other people instead of being a burden to them. I had to pray for strength a lot that weekend. But I am being helped by some wonderful, generous people. It's just frightening on the job market today, and even harder when you're vegan. Working at most food-related jobs is out of the question because it goes against my morals to profit from animal exploitation, so I can't just go work at a burger joint if all else fails, and that is not something I'm able to compromise on. The most I could do in food service is work at a grocery store stocking or cashiering, and maybe at a cafe as a dishwasher or something.

 Meanwhile, my best friend Danielle has been accepted to a Master's Program in Germany, meaning I probably won't be seeing her much for two years starting in the fall. Considering this, my future is even more uncertain, but if I can't find a job (and maybe even if I can) I'm considering looking at possible internships or volunteer work, hopefully with an organization that would benefit animals (like Mercy for Animals or the Humane Society or SOMETHING).

Look. It's a duck! Or something....

 I've been coping with the resurgence of emotional  rollercoastering by writing lots of Star Trek fanfiction, and trying to appreciate the few sunny days we've had when I can tear myself away from my computer. I'm also playing with the idea of putting together a small book of poetry, hopefully with some illustrations, that I could possibly sell to earn money--but I would be donating 50% of the profits to animal organizations. I think this would serve two purposes at once, making me feel like I was contributing to the causes I care about and still helping me toward my goal of financial independence. Every little step counts... at least I sure hope that's true.

Oh hi there. My hair's getting kind of long.

Meanwhile, my 23rd birthday is fast approaching and all I want is a new blender/food-processor.... My old one died while making that batch of Sunflower Mac. Cooking just isn't the same without it.

OH I JUST REMEMBERED. I finally planted some seeds in my pots from last year. I went to go buy some fertilizer at the local nursery and even though all the dry fertilizers had bone meal or some other animal product in it, I found a liquid fertilizer called Daniels Plant Food which is apparently soybean based and has no animal ingredients. So, a couple days ago I planted two pots of spinach, two pots of kale, a tiny bit of carrots, a pot of rainbow chard, a pot of peas, some dill, and some coriander. I hope they grow! I'll let you guys know how they do on the liquid fertilizer. I was really delighted to see that when I started loosening up the soil in the pots, all kinds of little creepy-crawlies were squirming around in the soil, including two nice fat earthworms. So hopefully that means the soil in the pots is nice and healthy, and will be good for the plants!

I just hope my seeds haven't drowned--right after I watered them, it rained and poured for a day and a half.